


finding my way to you

by DangerousLiaisons



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Canon Rewrite, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Healthy Relationships, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, idk what else to tag, just me writing/rewriting some scenes to make stucky canon, the other characters aren't in the scenes that much
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:49:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 3,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24529411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DangerousLiaisons/pseuds/DangerousLiaisons
Summary: this story is just me writing some short scenes to make stucky canon because i really wish they were :)also: DONATE TO BLACK LIVES MATTER MOVEMENTS!!!!!!! you can find a bunch of different legal, donation, educational resources here:https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jsCO7zuVvpj4gWyheDZ1jH2i83hVUsYLjEhsLnl9-8c/edit?fbclid=IwAR1pwUTSp_sSKFygrC7EnzsNmejVfF0Gzz7AQziZsQHfkPzlbqPKlbhAS1M
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

“Who was that?” Sam asked as they guided Natasha inside.

Steve didn’t reply. His eyes were heavy and watery.

“Was that who I think it was?” Natasha muttered, hobbling between them.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” grumbled Steve, his voice even deeper than normal.

“It was Bucky, wasn’t it?” Natasha added.

“I said I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Bucky?” Maria’s jaw dropped. “As in your Bucky?”

Steve ground his teeth. “Yeah,” he said. “My Bucky.”

“Who’s Bucky?” Sam asked.

Steve sighed.


	2. Chapter 2

The air was stale. There was a dripping noise that kept coming from a rusty pipe nearby. Fury was explaining something but Steve was focused on his hatred for said pipe. 

It was dripping and dripping and dripping. And he wondered how long it had been dripping for. How many drops? Why couldn’t it just stop?

“Rogers,” Fury said. “You listening?”

Steve looked around as all eyes were now on him. No one had to say anything to know that he wasn’t listening to a word. 

“I need a minute,” he replied.

Sam found him outside a few moments later. Steve was sitting against a brick wall with his head in his hands. As he approached, Sam cleared his throat. Steve didn’t look up.

“So... I take it you and this Bucky have history,” stated Sam.

Steve looked up only after a while of deep breathing, tears stained his cheeks.

“A lot of history,” Sam corrected.

“He was the love of my... past life,” Steve choked out, repressing that awful feeling in the back of his throat that meant tears were coming. “Or so I thought.”

“We’ll get him back.”

“All this time,” Steve scoffed. “And I could’ve been helping him. Keeping him safe. Healing him. Saving him.”

“You can’t save him,” Sam said. “People can’t save each other. You can help him. But he’ll need to heal himself.”

“This is different,” Steve grumbled. “I should’ve been looking for him.”

“You didn’t know.”

“Well I should’ve,” Steve said, almost in a shout. “I should’ve known my... my fiancé was still alive.”

“Listen to me. We will get him back,” Sam emphasized each word so surely that Steve almost believed it. “I know what it’s like to lose the one closest to you. I’m not going to let it happen to you.”

Steve nodded. Maybe there was hope after all.


	3. Chapter 3

“Bucky please,” Steve begged. The Helicarrier was in flames and Steve didn’t know if he was going to survive this. He didn’t know if he wanted to if he couldn’t save Bucky.

“I’m not Bucky,” said the Winter Soldier as he landed another punch to Steve’s jaw. 

“Yes you are,” Steve coughed out. “You’re James Buchanan Barnes. You’re my best friend.”

Another punch. “You’re my mission,” the soldier shouted.

“You’re the love of my life,” Steve whispered. “You were back then and you still are today. No matter how hard I try to move on. I will save you.”

As the ship crashed and deteriorated, the next thing Steve knew, he was in the river without the motivation to swim to safety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i guess these will mostly be shorter scenes  
> but some will be longer!!


	4. Chapter 4

The apartment was cold and sad. Had Bucky been living here the entire time? How had no one found him?

Steve rummaged through what little things Bucky owned. In a notebook, he found some random thoughts and messy ideas — what seemed like Bucky’s attempt to piece himself back together. Steve hoped it was working.

The hairs on his neck then stood up. There was someone in the room behind him. And from the deafening silence, it could’ve only been one person. 

“Do you know me?” Steve said after he turned around.

“You’re Steve,” Bucky said slowly. He looked good. Tired, but just as beautiful as Steve remembered. His hair was about the same length, nicely tucked behind his ears and under his hat. Steve wanted nothing more than to pull him in for a hug. 

Steve nodded. “Anything else?”

“I read we were friends at the museum in DC.” Bucky must’ve seen the memorial in the Smithsonian before Steve paid them a visit and demanded they change “friend” to “fiancé.”

“More than friends, Buck. We were engaged. But you know that.”

Bucky averted his eyes for a moment. “There’s people after me. I didn’t do that bombing. That’s not me anymore.”

Steve nodded again. “I can protect you if you come with me. I promise. This doesn’t have to end in a fight.”

But Steve knew as well as Bucky that that wasn’t true. At least not for now, Steve tried to convince himself. They could hear the enforcements coming and there was no way out of this without hurting people. And Steve was sick of Bucky having to hurt people to survive.

“Please, Buck,” Steve begged, knowing it wasn’t working. “I promise I’ll protect you from everything, just trust me. I’ll never let anyone lay a hand on you ever again. And no one has to die.”

“No one’s going to die.”

And just like that the military was breaking down the walls and windows and doors. 

Steve tried not to be hurt by Bucky using him as a weapon and shield. He told himself to brush it off — it was so ridiculous it was almost funny. So instead, he protected Bucky as well as he could as the other man made his way easily through the forces.

“Buck, stop!” Steve shouted as Bucky threw a guard over the railing, Steve pulled the man back up as Bucky looked him in the eyes. He was not going to stop.

“Bucky!” Steve shouted as he watched his friend hop out the window and land on the neighboring roof. This was not going to be easy.

Steve sighed. Then he jumped.


	5. Chapter 5

“He’s awake,” Sam said.

Steve hesitated for a moment. What would he say? What if Bucky wasn’t as he remembered? What if he wasn’t back at all? He clenched his fists out of fear and walked inside the abandoned warehouse where they had Bucky.

“Bucky?” Steve asked.

“Yeah,” Bucky said, meeting Steve’s gaze. “It’s me, Steve.”

“Oh, my god, Bucky,” Steve sighed out of relief. “You don’t know—“

“How do we know it’s really you?” Sam said. He put his arm in front of Steve to keep him from approaching Bucky.

Bucky sighed and looked to Steve. “You used to stuff newspapers in your shoes when we were younger,” he said slowly, laughing ever so slightly. “You had a crush on me growing up and didn’t say anything until after the serum. I proposed to you two days before I fell off the train.”

Steve closed his eyes. “My Bucky,” he whispered. 

He slowly approached his friend and the two looked at each other.

“Not a day, Bucky,” Steve began, his voice shaky. “Not a day went by where I didn’t think of you. I tried to move on but... it was just impossible, Buck.”

Steve raised his hand to touch Bucky’s face, but the man flinched.

“I’m sorry,” Steve said.

“I want to tell you something comforting. That I still love you and we can be together,” Bucky began. “But everything hurts and... I need some time.”

“Of course,” Steve said. “You deserve all the time in the world. I’m not going to let anything happen to you ever again. I promise.”

Bucky nodded.

Steve left the building, fighting off tears.


	6. Chapter 6

“I don’t know if I’m worth all this, Steve.”

Steve flinched at the words without even processing them first. He flinched because he hated the way they sounded. He flinched because he hated that Bucky thought of himself that way. And he flinched because it was the thought that had been in the back of his mind this entire time.

They were getting ready to fight off the remaining winter soldiers and Steve wasn’t entirely sure how they were going to do it. It was just him and Bucky. But none of this was Bucky’s fault — he couldn’t help what happened to him. 

So, of course Bucky was worth all this. But should he be was maybe the better question.

“You’re worth everything,” Steve said. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, Buck.”

“That’s what I’m saying, Steve. I don’t know that you should,” Bucky replied. His voice sounded broken.

“I don’t care about anything but you,” Steve said. “I mean, of course I care about other things. But in the grand scheme of it all, it’s you and me, Buck.”

The other man closed his eyes, seemingly finding comfort in Steve’s words. 

“Just like old times,” he said, trying to soften the mood.

“Getting there,” Steve smiled.

“I could make you jealous by flirting with some girls again, like when we were 16,” joked Bucky.

Steve rolled his eyes, still smiling softly. “Terrible idea.”

Bucky laughed. “I’m sorry — didn’t know you wanted me so bad back then.”

“I can’t stand you,” Steve blushed.

“Mhm.”

Steve looked at Bucky and smiled. Bucky looked back and Steve felt whole for a second. 

“You’re still wearing the ring,” Bucky smiled softly.

“Never took it off, Buck,” Steve whispered gently. 

Bucky held Steve’s hand to his lips and kissed it. He squeezed it tightly and didn’t let go as they landed.

“My Steve,” Bucky whispered back.

Steve closed his eyes and smiled. He felt warm enough to melt the continent.


	7. Chapter 7

“You don’t have to do this, you know. I can protect you. And I can handle the hard parts,” Steve said.

“I know,” Bucky nodded. “But this is about me. It’s too painful right now. And I can’t risk hurting any more people than I already have.”

“Yeah,” Steve said sadly. “I know.”

“And if I ever hurt you, Steve...” he clenched his jaw. 

“It won’t be forever,” Steve nodded, trying to convince himself, but failing. “I’ll be here the second you wake up.”

“It won’t be that long, Steve,” Bucky assured him. “I know you. My soulmate isn’t one to give up.”

Steve looked up.

“My mind hasn’t cleared much. But I’m cognizant enough to know that I never stopped loving you. Never will.”

A few tears fell from Steve’s eyes. “I love you so much, Bucky.”

“I love you, too.” He extended his hand and Steve took it quickly. “I’m not going anywhere, remember? I’m here until the end.”

Steve nodded. “Me too.”

Then Bucky drifted off into cryogenic sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Bucky was free. He was free to do whatever he wanted. Free to think however he wanted. Free to love however he wanted. 

Shuri had healed him and his mind felt better every day. As he stood outside and enjoyed the fresh air of Wakanda, there was only one thing he still needed.

“So,” a familiar voice said from behind him, “the White Wolf. I like it.”

Bucky turned around and saw the one thing.

“I like it, too,” Bucky said. His heart melted.

“Can I hug you?” Steve asked.

Bucky cracked a smile. Steve was always the gentleman, however impatient.

“Please,” he answered.

Steve was on him in seconds, holding him tighter than he thought humanly possible. Than super-humanly possible.

“I missed you so much,” Steve said.

“I missed you too, sweetheart,” Bucky replied. “Nothing standing between us anymore.”

Bucky pulled his head back slightly and tilted Steve’s chin towards him. “You look more beautiful every time I see you.”

Steve blushed. “So do you.”

“I can’t wait to marry you.”

Steve blushed harder. Bucky kissed him. 

Soft and sweet, long and passionate. A kiss to start a new path of healing together. Bucky was safe and secure on his own. His mind was back and his life was in his hands. Now he had the world he needed, too. The world that would never escape him again.

“Never leaving your side,” Bucky whispered in between kisses. He could feel Steve melt a little more. “Gonna make sure we have the life we deserve.” Steve became weightless in Bucky’s arms. “Love of my life.”

They both let their tears fall freely. They’d never have to live without each other again.


	9. Chapter 9

The room was silent. Except for the birds and wind and rustling of leaves outside. It was a peaceful silence. Wakanda was a safe haven for many reasons and Steve and Bucky were learning why. T’Challa had given them a master suite in a nearby hotel, which they quickly made their way to, and it stayed silent in the room. Until they crashed through the bedroom door.

Steve’s hands were on Bucky and Bucky’s were on Steve. They kissed deeply and closed their eyes so tightly they weren’t sure they’d ever be able to open them again.

They bumped into the dresser and then the walls and then finally the bed. Steve was on top of Bucky, who had never been so happy to feel such a heavy weight on his chest. 

“Love of my life,” Bucky whispered.

Steve hummed, in love.

Bucky stripped their shirts and flipped them around. They kissed and kissed and kissed for an eternity. 

“My man,” Bucky soothed. Steve melted into him.

He knew that Steve needed all the reassurance he could give. Couldn’t blame him. After all this time, he needed the same. Nothing could change from now. They deserved that. 

“I want you,” Steve said.

Bucky hummed and smiled softly. “Anything for you.”

As they lay in bed afterwards, wrapped up with only the sheets covering their bodies, Bucky could feel Steve holding him tightly as he played with Steve’s hair.

“Something wrong?” Bucky asked.

Steve grumbled.

Bucky laughed through an exhale. “Talk to me, mister.”

“I can’t.” Steve buried his face in the pillows.

“I think you can,” Bucky replied, amused.

“I can’t lose you again, Buck.”

Bucky’s smile fell and his chest hurt for a moment. He tilted Steve’s face upwards to look him in the eye.

“It’s not going to happen, okay? I’m not going to let it. If the universe wants us apart it’s going to have to rip me away from you. And even if it did, I would find my way back to you. Alright?” 

Steve closed his eyes and nodded.

“I think it will get easier with time, too,” Bucky added. “I know how you’re feeling. I think one day we won’t feel we need to hold on so tightly all the time.”

“I hope,” Steve mumbled.

“I don’t mind though,” replied Bucky. “Feels nice.”

Steve smiled.

“And don’t forget we still, you know, are gonna get married.”

“I love you, Buck,” Steve laughed.

“Love you, too, Steve.”

And just like that, Steve felt a little better. Bucky wouldn’t be getting away from him again.


	10. Chapter 10

Their wedding was fast and simple. Neither of them particularly wanted to wait any longer than they had to.

They invited their friends and told them no gifts. Bucky got a haircut for it, too. He had asked Steve if he should leave it long or cut it short and Steve said he loved it however Bucky preferred. Bucky rolled his eyes, but smiled. He cut it back to the same length as when Steve found him in that apartment in Bucharest. 

T’Challa and Steve made Bucky a new engagement ring made out of vibranium, to match Steve’s. Bucky wanted to somehow find out what Hydra did with his old ring, but — seeing as how that was most likely impossible — Steve opted for the symbolic route of a fresh start with a new ring. Bucky smiled as Steve slid it on his finger. They looked around at their friends and a new beginning was already happening. 

Though, Tony didn’t show up, which hurt Steve more than he wanted to admit. Bucky didn’t know how to react — he still felt responsible. 

Shuri didn’t just help his mind forget the sleeper agent words, but she helped him distance himself from the pain of his memories. He still remembered all the faces of the lives he’d taken under Hydra’s control but it was different now. As if it were two different people. He wasn’t sure how she did it, but it helped him sleep a little better. Sometimes.

Bucky tried to hide his nightmares from Steve. He’d wake up thrashing, heart racing in the middle of the night. Steve would try to comfort him, but Bucky would say it’s nothing. Steve would hold him until they both fell back to sleep. And right until they woke up in the morning. 

Tony’s parents were a touchy subject, too. Steve never blamed Bucky. Never even thought to. He blamed Hydra, and Bucky agreed to an extent. He just wished Tony would forgive Steve.

They enjoyed their wedding, regardless. T’Challa officiated, because, of course, that was something he knew how to do. And then they were husbands. The same two kids from Brooklyn were now each other’s forever.

They didn’t sleep much that night and their bed faced some hefty damage. Healing had never felt so good.

After a few months of hotel living, it became clear that neither wanted to leave Wakanda anytime soon. So, Steve suggested they build their own cabin in the forest, which was music to Bucky’s ears. They ran it by T’Challa who said it sounded like what they needed to heal.

And there they built their home together. 

It helped that they had super abilities when it came to lifting things. Steve grabbed several gigantic wooden boards at a time with ease and carried them over to their worksite.

“I think we should get a dog,” Steve said.

Bucky laughed, marking some measurements on their blueprints.

“What?” Steve asked, setting the boards down. 

“Nothing,” Bucky replied, still smiling. “It’s a great idea.”

“Maybe two dogs.”

“We’ll get as many dogs as you’d like,” Bucky laughed.

And they did after they finished building their home. They got two dogs that they spoiled and made sure they only knew love.

They lived the life they deserved. And it was better than good. It was heaven. One of Steve’s favorite things to do was lie on Bucky’s chest in bed while Bucky read. He’d listen to his husband’s heartbeat and fall in love all over again. One of Bucky’s favorite things was when the two talked about the culture shock they experienced in the modern world after being frozen. Finding the humor in it all and seeing Steve’s smile lines were irreplaceable. 

It took time, but they learned that they didn’t have to live in constant fear they’d lose each other again. Nothing had ever felt better.

It lasted two years. And then Thanos came.


	11. Chapter 11

“No,” Steve whispered, bloody and bruised. “No, no, no.”

He watched as a horrific silence fell over Wakanda. One by one, people disappeared into ash. Disintegrated. 

Bucky collapsed to the ground and Steve raced to catch him.

“Bucky, no. Stay with me,” Steve commanded. His eyes were wide and his entire body shook. “Don’t do this.”

“Steve,” Bucky said. “I love you so much. Always will.”

“Stop,” Steve commanded again. Bucky started to disappear.

“Please be happy, Steve,” whispered Bucky. “For me.”

And just like that, he was gone. Steve’s face was perpetually stained with tears, and as he looked around at who was left, he didn’t know if they would ever stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading :)


End file.
